Thinking about divorce can be frightening and stressful if you know less about what you should do. Apparently, in the U.S., 45% of first marriages end in divorce. Separation in the first marriage may be fueled by infidelity, domestic violence, addiction, or lack of commitment. In most cases, mothers suffer more compared to men after a divorce. Terminating your marital union should come last on your options list. Short-term marriages have a less complex divorce process than long-term marriages with children and property entanglements. As a mother, below are things you should know about divorce:
Your Kids Are Not Being Divorced
Treat your spouse respectfully during and after divorce. Even if he is no longer your husband, he is still your children’s father. Make regular visitation arrangements unless there is a record of neglect and abuse. In a week, 22% of fathers visit their kids more than once if they live separately. The consistent visits reduce the divorce impact on the children’s lives. Also, never badmouth your former husband in front of your children.
Expect Anything
After you file for a divorce, have realistic expectations and goals consistent with the law. Do not expect to win the case or end up with everything you want. You may receive a lower amount of alimony than requested. Agree on children’s custody, visitation schedules, property, and debt division to make the process easy and less expensive.
You Need an Experienced Lawyer
You need to hire an attorney when you cannot attend to your divorce. Law attorneys provide legal advice and represent you in court at a fee. Be frank to your lawyer and provide him with facts to help you account for marital assets.
You Need to Have Your Documents Organized
Gather both financial and non-financial records and keep them in a safe place. If you have joint emails, consider creating new ones with password protection for storing documents in soft copies. Since divorce produces a lot of paperwork, stay ordered by arranging all the documents chronologically in one file for easy retrieval.
Educate Yourself
When you have the relevant information, you have power. Divorces differ from one marriage to another. Do your research to learn more about the whole process. Understanding the possible outcomes keeps you on track and increases your comfort level. Also, educate yourself on taxes, insurance, rights, and saving.
Sort Your Belongings
Figure out who gets what. Make a list and take pictures of personal items you solely own. Give stuff such as jewelry, valuable items, artwork, and photos to a trusted person for safekeeping. Make a list of properties owned jointly with your spouse, their value, and the applicable paperwork. Don’t forget to include vehicles, real estate, machinery, and household items.
You Need to Make Some Changes
Understand that life will deviate in many ways after divorce. As the custodian to your kids, you need to spend more time with them and actively be present. In divorce cases, children will spend a total of 277 days with their custodial parent in a year. With this in mind, it’s essential to help your kids adapt to their new way of life. If you are a stay-at-home mother, look for ways to make money if your spouse is not supporting you.
It is Okay to Ask for Help
Motherhood comes with a variety of responsibilities to your children. You might find yourself unable to support them both emotionally and financially. When you need assistance, ask your close friends and family for it. They can offer you loans, counseling, and support groups to help you remain stable during and after the divorce.
The impact of divorce on you can be positive or negative depending on how prepared you are. Before filing for a divorce, factor in all the possible consequences and how your children will be affected in the long run. Get ready mentally, and have enough resources to fund the divorce process.
